If You're Readin' This

Even though we all say it's highly unlikely, I always write a letter to my children when Brian and I leave on a trip together just in case something happens to us.  It's incredibly important to me that my children know how much I love them.  So, before we left for Spain, I did it again.  I figured why save it for when I'm dead? I want them to know I love them while I'm alive, too.  

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Dear Samantha, Chase and Ava,

If you're reading this it means Aunt Tracy has decided you're ready to hear from us, and that something happened on our trip to Spain. Some parents would never leave their children for fear of something happening to the kids or themselves.  The truth is: anything can happen. Any time, anyplace to anyone.  God does not want us to live in fear!

 

I hope when you choose a mate, you'll realize the great importance of maintaining a strong, relationship between the two of you even after - especially after the kids come along. This is what your Daddy and I were doing in Spain -- strengthening our oneness.

 

I want you to know how much I love each of you. You are so precious to me.  I never really knew what a calling was -- what it meant to have a passion for something, until you came along. What a gift!

 

Samantha, my first born.  You are everything they say in the books about first-borns! You are so smart, independent-thinking, brave, industrious and creative. You already show signs of being a great mama the way you take care of your baby brother and sister. Your literacy teacher, Mrs. Barnhill, pegged you right on when she said, "Samantha is so excited about everything."  You love to cook, experiment, create, draw, paint, eat out and learn new things. You have your Grandad Logsdon's beautiful blue eyes. You are my favorite Samantha and I love you very much.

Chaser, you have so many nicknames, its hard to choose which to use! I have never known a sweeter boy.  You were such a good baby (which is why Ava is so close to your age!) Right now, you look up to Sammie like she hung the moon and you two play so well together.  (She used to read to you in your playpen.) You are also a brave and strong boy! You once pushed a boy down because you thought he was hurting Ava.  God built it in you to protect the weak. That's a gift -- use it well.  I love that you narrate our life as we go -- giving us the play by play of who is doing what and often adding fictional characters and events that make us laugh and laugh. (Ask Grandma Scheurich about the wild pigs!)  You are my favorite Chaser and I love you very much.

 

Wee Little Ava -- that's what Daddy always calls you. Everyone notices Sammie's blue eyes, that Chase looks exactly like Daddy and Ava's red hair.  They say red-heads are fiesty, independent and strong-willed -- that nails you completely, my darlin'. Don't let anyone tell you those are bad things. It means you also have the gift of tenacity. Coupled with the Lord's wisdom, you will be a mighty warrior for His kingdom.  Grandaddy wasn't so sure about me having a third child and now he loves you so much he's passed on his own nickname to you -- "Shorty." When we talked about his hesitation the other day, he said, "Shows what I know!" You're my favorite Ava and I love you very much.

 

Aunt Tracy and Uncle D. will take care of you now. If ever you question that decision remember this: I do not believe they are perfect, but they are perfect for us and perfect for you.  They loved you from the moment you were born and so did Parker, Kenna and Logan. They will always choose what's best for each of you -- trust in that.

I never had the freedom (or wisdom) to ask so many things of my mother and Daddy.  Please, please, please ask anything of Aunt Tracy.  She will be completely honest with you even if it's hard to understand.

I feel a burden to share some Biblical wisdom, but I am no Bible scholar. I do believe that the son of God walked this earth and died for me. I look to him and his word to guide me in this life. And while there is much I don't understand, I believe that when you call him your Lord, I will see you again.

To quote one of your (current) favorite characters: "God made you special and He loves you very much."

So do I, sweet darlin's -- so do I.

Mom

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Don't leave your children, spouse or parents wondering how you really feel about them.  No doubts. No regrets. Help them remember and know that they know that they KNOW you love them.