10 Ways That Say "I Love Him"

It may seem like a joke, but it's not. These are the kinds of little things that ease my man's mind a little. It's the very least I can do considering all he does for me.

1. Keep your shoes on your feet or in your closet.
2. Unplug the curling iron when finished.
3. Have the dishwasher emptied and ready for supper dishes.
4. Keep the counter by the fridge clear of clutter.
5. Sweep the inside door mats regularly.
6. Keep all cabinet and closet doors closed at all times.
7. Don't track mud onto the driveway from the corner of the yard.
8. Above all else, think "value."
9. Combine errands as much as possible.
10. Don't buy expensive greeting cards on holidays.

Hope you feel loved today, baby!

So Much for Valentine's Day Secrets

With Valentine's Day falling on a Sunday this year, and hectic Friday, Saturday and Sunday schedules this weekend, my best opportunity to get flowers for Kristin was Friday after work.

I had another Kristin-approved errand to run on the way home Friday, so that bought me a little time to run by a locally-owned florist called Mary M's. I picked up a dozen roses there and then headed home for our first date in ages.

Katie the baby sitter was already there when I arrived. I walked in the house and noticed that Kristin was helping one of the kids with something. So, I took the opportunity to hide the flowers in the laundry room. Then, I told her to go on out to the car while I went to the bathroom. After hearing the garage door shut, I ran back into the laundry room, grabbed the flowers and then called Katie and the kids together. They were more than happy to put the flowers into one of the crystal vases we got as a wedding gift. (My mother told her every bride needs a vase big enough for a dozen roses.) I asked Katie to put the flowers in Dell's closet when the were done.

Kristin had a meeting Saturday morning. So, after she left, I brought the flowers out of Dell's dark closet to get some sun. I asked the kids to help me remember to put them back when she got home. We saw her turning into the drive way, so I ran into Dell's room with the flowers while the kids went to greet her. As I'm hiding the flowers, I hear Ava open the door and say in one of her screaming whispers, "Don't see the flowers, Mommy!"

I went ahead and brought the flowers out, and Kristin loved them. She thanked me and said something like, "This will give me another day to enjoy them." So, all's well that ends well. However, am I ever going to learn that three year olds aren't very good with secrets?

My Man

So, Brian had his 20th high school reunion this past summer and I'd intended to write all about it. Then we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in September and I intended to write all about that. And, on Tuesday Brian turned 39 and I wanted to write about that, too.

To spare you the volumes for every celebration, I'll give a brief snippet about each.

Brian's Mom and step-dad came down to celebrate his birthday on Sunday and brought a beautiful sheet cake. Since Brian, Grandaddy and Manley were all piled in Grandaddy's room watching football and the kids were chomping at the bit for cake, we lit the candles and headed in there to sing "Happy Birthday!"  I sat on the bed next to him and leaned over to give him a kiss.  That's when the cardboard the cake was on slipped off the fancy plastic serving tray and the cake flipped upside down onto the floor.  Sorry, baby.

Oh wait.  A business trip landed him in The Russian Tea Room in New York City on his actual birthday.  So, I take it back. No pity for him.  None.

On our anniversary, we pulled out the ol' wedding video.  We don't torture ourselves annually, but we thought it would ok once every ten years. Halfway through, Sammie said, "This is soooo long."  (And, it was.)  About every ten minutes I would look over at Brian and he'd be shaking his head saying, "We were so naive."  (And, we were.) 

I've told him before I want to get married again.  I want him to ask me again, so I can say yes again.  When we said "I do" the first time, I dare say we had no idea what on earth we were saying "I do" to.  It hasn't always been moonbeams and rainbows and some times it's been downright miserable, but now that we're on the other side of that (for the moment, anyway), I can see that we have been well-matched.  I know I can count on him, no matter what. Through childbirth and grandparents. Overwhelming anxiety and the pit of depression. Even biopsies and several thousand diapers. It's easy to see that we're so much better together than apart. (Am I sounding a little sappy with him out of town?)

As for the reunion, I spent more than a few hours watching his classmates, listening to their stories, meeting their families.  And there, it happened again -- that thing that sometimes happens when I look around a crowded room. I realized I was the luckiest girl in the world to be able to leave on his arm.

That's my man.  Happy reunion/annivesary/birthday, darlin'!

Weddings Make Me Happy

Hang on to your hats, folks. You'd think it was my own wedding album, I have so many pictures.

Brian's cousin, Tricia, married Dave in Sarasota on June 28th. It afforded our family a fantastic opportunity for a vacation to beautiful Bradenton Beach nearby. The wedding and part of the reception were outdoors. Beautiful isn't the right word for it. It was perfect. Truly perfect and we had a ball!

Brian's brothers, Derek and Chris, and Chris' girlfriend, Rachel.

And, I was there, too!

The happy couple.

Sammie loved meeting the bride and followed her around for an obnoxiously long time and Trish was sweet enough to let her.

Brian's Aunt Mary on his father's side, the mother of the bride.  She's as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.  When we told Sammie Aunt Mary would be there, she said, "Woohoo!"  She has that effect on people.

Trish thought of everything right down to the dino bites (ketchup already on the plates) with mac and cheese for the kids' dinners.  Chase's FAVorite!

The other happy couple.  

All my kids are in love with Rachel and they want her to be with them all the time.  And, so do we.

The newest baby in the family is Trish's big sister's baby, Ryder.  My kids love babies, so they each got a turn to hold him and Ava went first.  She did well until she started poking him in the eyes.

Doesn't Chase look like a natural?  He was rocking baby Ryder here.  What you don't see is when he rocked him too far the other way and the heavy-headed baby went all the way over, face first in the grass.  They didn't let us hold him anymore.

Pa and Ava have a special relationship.  Pa tells her to do certain things and she takes them as mere suggestions, so they have a long talk about it until he sees her way.

The wedding colors were hot pink, orange and bright yellow.  This is on the empty Chinese take-out boxes:  Because you've made our lives so sweet, please fill this box with your favorite treats.  They had huge containers of pink, orange and yellow jelly beans, salt water taffy and malted milk balls.  That was a lot of sugar for the ride home, but the kids loved it!

The ceremony was still in the heat of the day, so they'd filled this bucket full of cold, bottled water. After the ceremony, they brought out an identical bucket filled with games for the kids. Bubbles, frisbees, giant balloons and other fun stuff. Is she brilliant or what? Reminded me of our wedding reception. It was gourmet desserts for the grown ups and a special kids' table where they could decorate their own cookies and cupcakes.  

It was a perfect open space for the kids to play after having to sit still for 13 whole minutes!

I couldn't convince anyone to dance, so I started with Rachel!  After awhile they played a new line dance called the Cupid Shuffle (which I thought was the Cuban Shuffle for about a month) and Derek hopped right out there with me.  I wish I had a picture of THAT! 

Then Brian and I snuck in one swing dance which was the most fun of the night for me. Are my boys handsome or what?

At least Chase watched the girls from the view of the dance floor.

I'm so grateful we were invited to be a part of their special day.  My Daddy used to say that everyone should have a big wedding with lots of festivities and lots of witnesses.  It's about more than just the two saying "I do".  That one day is a memory to treasure for a lifetime.

When In Rome, Do As You Normally Do

I wrote several months ago about the minor differences in Brian's eating habits from mine.

It's been more than a little funny to me here.  Brian had pizza the first night we were here and has ordered two hamburgers at least. One of the natives took us to a tapas restaurant called Txapela one night. 

Our paper placemat had pictures of each of the 50 appetizer-sized choices.  But a separate menu in six languages explained each choice.

Here's what Brian ordered:

Xistorra de Navarra

Xoric confitat a la sidra

Brie fos

Bunoi de bacalla amb allioli suau

Hamburguesa amb formatge i mostassa

Doesn't that sound exotic?  When it came it was the equivalent of  two different kids of hot dogs, grilled cheese, fried fish and a hamburger.

I love it!

I'd Rather a Roll in the Hay!

Funny comments from my last post.  My mind wasn't even going in that direction, you naughty girls.  Though I must tell you that it's felt a little like having a newborn lately.

The last few weeks we've had some weird thing I like to call Pop Up Fever.  You never know when, where or from whom this fever is going to pop up.  Each of the three kids has had it.  A day at a time.  Three days in a row, then nothing, then for another day.

The other night I noticed that 3 was the only hour I didn't see on the clock throughout the night.  

"I'm hot." 

"I need medicine."

"My legs hurt, will you rub them?"

"Can I sleep with you?"

"I need to go paaaahhhhhty!"

"Can I sleep on the couch?"

"I want a drink."

"I fell out of the bed, will you walk me back?"

"I just wanted to tell you I went potty."

And, every time I crawl into bed next to my lovely lump of a husband, I think to myself, "And, HE wants more children."

In all fairness, he gets up with the kids, too, but that's hardly the point when it's MY turn.  

So, your comments give me a good thought:  If I could be promised a solid five or six hours of sleep in a row, then I'd rather go for a roll in the hay!  

Men Say the Darndest Things

So, we've been having this conversation about maybe getting a flat screen TV.  LCD...HD...blue something...I don't know all the technical jargon.  What I know is that my man wants one.  

He really likes to think through things and talk about all the pros and cons, so we can make a wise choice.  It doesn't matter to me what kind, when or how much.  I'd be happy with the one we have until it explodes and I'd be happy with a new one.  (Not that I'm naturally a content or agreeable person, I just don't happen to care about TV stuff.)  But, I was game for the analysis.

One of my points was, I don't know that it makes sense to get such a fancy TV for me to watch my two TV shows a week.  (Grey's Anatomy and Dancing With the Stars, if you must know.)

So, Brian, in all seriousness, asked me, "Well, what shows do you watch during the day?"

LOOOOOOOONG pause......

Does anyone else think that is HILARIOUS!?!?!  Because, surely, he was joking.

Right?

Truth in Fiction

I love to read.  Lately, I've made time for some great fiction.  I have a friend who never reads it. (You know who you are.)  But I like it for so many reasons.  First, just to get lost in a story.  Movies are good for that, too, but that's only an hour and a half.  AND, books are better for your brain than movies, in my opinion.  Second, I love fiction because it drops me in worlds that I may never visit in this life.  And third, but not last of the many more reasons I love fiction, it can paint pictures of life lessons that I might not even think about otherwise.  

I read The Time Traveler's Wife solely on the recommendation of a smart and funny friend of mine.  It's not something I'd choose just reading the jacket.  For a full review, go here.  In short, it's a love story about a man who travels through time, not of his own free will, about 30 or so years back and usually only as far as 10 years in the future. (I'm not so great with math, but I think it goes from early 1960s to about 2006.)  

Besides it being a clever story, I found it interesting to think about time travel.  Not in a science fiction, dysfunctional chromosome kind of way.  I just realized as I read that some of us do that now. Yes, time travel, I mean.  And even, it seems, as a result of our own free will.  In the book, Henry, travels back in time over and over to a tragedy in his childhood. (He goes to other times, too, but that's a common repeat.) However, he can't change anything.  Can't prevent anything.  But he goes back and goes back and goes back.  Things that happened so fast the first time, he did have opportunity to dissect by revisiting the next few times.  But after that, what good does it do to go back again and again?  

Do you have a memory like that?  One that takes you back to a tragedy that you can't change? One that you can learn from by dissecting, but beyond that, you can't "undo."  I have lots of times.  Some are tragedies and some are just dumb mistakes I made that I wish I hadn't.  I know God has us remember for good reasons....to learn, to grow, to strengthen and, for mercy sakes, to keep from doing it again!  But it's a conscious effort to remember, without re-living and re-condemning.  Go back there if you must, but only to keep from making the same mistakes again.

This Henry, could also travel to the future.  The interesting thing is that, of course, without the entire context, it was just as confusing.  (It's hard to explain this thought without spoiling things in the book.) A "part" of one question was answered by catching a peek, but then there were another hundred questions that came with that one glimpse. And then the big question: how many decisions, once he got "back to his present" did he make trying to make that glimpse a reality?  (Anyone remember that Tom Cruise movie Minority Report, where he finally gets to see what those creepy water things saw but how he got there he could NEVER have put together on his own.)  

I know I also spend time wondering things I'll never know until I get there.  Will I have more kids?  Boys? Girls? Will Brian and I still be married after 63 years?  To each other?  Will Grandaddy live to be 115 like that woman in France?  Will I invest my next 20 years into my children only to have them be vagrants, jailbirds or worse?  Will we EVER get invited to play cards anywhere again?

If I really could glimpse into my future, would I?  And then, should I?

As it stands, all we can do is picture the future we want and take steps today to get to that place.  So much unknown, so much we can't control, so much bigger the plans God has than we can ask or imagine.  Why limit that with my own little mind?

The Bible says not to worry about tomorrow, so I guess that answers that.  While I won't "worry", I do hope there is more fiction in my future!

What are you reading?  I'm always open to suggestions.

He's "That" Dad

Brian's the kind of Dad that the kids come running to hug when he walks in from work every day, because he always greets them with a cheerful hello and big hugs.

Brian's the kind of Dad who invents games to play with the kids.  The circle game and the flip game are two of their favorites.  It doesn't take a score card, because everyone wins.  The game board is built in, because it's Daddy himself!  The kids love those games because he's entirely focused on them for those moments in time.

Brian's the kind of Dad who doesn't claim to know it all.  He passes on what he's learned...explaining the "why" behind any command or principle, so they'll be able to make good choices in similar situations in the future. And, he admits when he's made a mistake and will quickly apologize to the kids if he's been harsh or has lost his temper.  He doesn't just say he's sorry, he asks them for forgiveness.

Brian's the kind of Dad who takes each kid for a ride on the tractor come mowing day and even let's them help him paint (KNOWING it will end in a big mess), just because they want to "help Daddy."  (I'll remind them of this in ten years when they neither want to mow NOR paint.)

Brian's the kind of Dad who continues to learn and grow as a man, because he knows his children are watching and learning and he truly desires to be the best influence on them he possibly can.  

As his wife, I know he's not perfect.  But his kids are pretty sure he stays up later than them, just so he can tell the stars when to quit twinkling and the sun when it's time to start a new day.

Brian's doing his part to point Samantha, Chase and Ava to the Father who really does "give orders to the morning and shows dawn its place ( Job 38:12)." Brian knows there is no better father figure than Abba Himself.

I love that he's that kind of Dad.

Quotes That Change My Heart

I read.  I used to read a lot.  Quit reading (except parenting books) when Baby #1 was born over five years ago.  Started again about six months ago.  I LOVE TO READ!  So, you'll find that some phrases stick with me...and maybe I won't repeat them over and over again in person if I can spell them out for you here.  So, here's the first post of many quotes, I'm sure.

This one touched me as a stay at home mom.  (Yes, I know I'm supposed to write SAHM, but I'm just not THERE yet!)  How many times have I said to myself over the past five years, "Aren't I supposed to be doing something ELSE?"  Referring, of course, to the endless diapers and dishes and revolving door between kitchen, laundry room and changing table.

Check out what Gary Thomas explains in the book Sacred Marriage.

I remember my brother asking me a few questions about what marriage was like.  I thought for a moment and said, "If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there's no question -- stay single.  Marriage takes a lot of time. But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can't imagine any better thing to do than to get married.  Being married forces you to face some character issues you'd never have to face otherwise."

Jesus, of course, was celibate his entire life, so it's somewhat ironic to suggest that marriage is the preferred route to becoming more like him.  But Jesus did live in a family and as Betsy Ricucci points out, that's all he had done at the time the Father proclaimed, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased" (Matthew 3:17).  "What had Jesus done to receive such praise?  Nothing but live in his own home, honoring his parents and serving his father's carpentry business.  Apparently that was enough to please God."*

Does that strike anyone else like it struck me?  He was "doing His thing."  Every day.  Eating, praying, bathing, carving wood, saying "Hi, Mom," and "Yes, Dad." And God was pleased.  Not just pleased.  WELL pleased.

Lord, will you be pleased with my day tomorrow?  I'm going to feed everyone three or four times, clean the kitchen three or four times, change a few diapers, hopefully do a load of laundry, go through the mail, so I don't miss any bills and will try to remember to say, "Hi, Honey" to my honey.  

Please be pleased.  

*Used by grace, since I didn't ask permission.