10 Ways That Say "I Love Him"

It may seem like a joke, but it's not. These are the kinds of little things that ease my man's mind a little. It's the very least I can do considering all he does for me.

1. Keep your shoes on your feet or in your closet.
2. Unplug the curling iron when finished.
3. Have the dishwasher emptied and ready for supper dishes.
4. Keep the counter by the fridge clear of clutter.
5. Sweep the inside door mats regularly.
6. Keep all cabinet and closet doors closed at all times.
7. Don't track mud onto the driveway from the corner of the yard.
8. Above all else, think "value."
9. Combine errands as much as possible.
10. Don't buy expensive greeting cards on holidays.

Hope you feel loved today, baby!

Repeat After Me

We take turns praying at dinner and tonight it was Chase's turn. He was resistant this evening for some reason, though, so I said, "Ok, Chase. Just repeat after me." I began with, "Heavenly Father." He repeated "Heavenly Father." I couldn't hear him very well, so I said, "Loud." Then, Chase, thinking I was praying the next line, in all seriousness, said "Loud."

I know you had to be there, but since we all laughed so hard I thought it was worth going into the family log. Kids are awesome.

Sam's School Day -- Friday, April 16, 2010

I took the day off from work Friday to watch the kids, and homeschool Sam, as Kristin took part in Chrysalis (Thursday p.m. - Sunday p.m.). Thanks to Kristin for setting up Sam and me for success.

Here's Sam's first-grade homeschool workload for posterity:

Philippians 1:1-11. I read this passage to the kids. We talked about Paul's references to "joy."

The Usborne Book of World History. I read pg. 87 to the kids -- "The end of the Roman Repbulic." Sam talked about Julius Caeser and Augustus Caeser.

Leading Little One to God. I read lesson 80 ("The Lord's Supper") to the kids.

Math work sheets: sums ("match each sum to a letter to answer the riddle"), counting by 10s to connect the dots from 10 - 100, subtraction (2-digits and problem solving) and 3-digit mystery number.

Critical thinking/logic: story-time logic ("At the ice cream shop, Ben, Chan and Maria each...") and pet logic ("Alex, Betty, Chad and Dena each brought a pet...")

Spanish: Sam completed her next Rosetta Stone lesson on her own. (She even calibrated the headset/microphone to Kristin's Apple Powerbook on her own. She's getting quite skilled with a computer.)

Reading: Sam read chapters one and two of Betsy Byars' Tornado. After finishing her reading, we pulled out her dry-erase map and outlined tornado alley. I also read her chapter 11 of Henry Winterfeld's Detectives in Togas ("A hilarious whodunit in ancient Rome.").

Profiles: I read pages 157 - 164 of George Muller – The Guardian of Bristol's Orphans.

(I'm going to read all of this fascinating account.)

Music: piano lessons from Piano Wizard Academy book two (ex. Big Ben, It's Midnight)

I'm looking forward to seeing Sam continue to blossom. It's amazing how much she's learned already. I'm thankful for getting to take part in her education on Friday.

So Much for Valentine's Day Secrets

With Valentine's Day falling on a Sunday this year, and hectic Friday, Saturday and Sunday schedules this weekend, my best opportunity to get flowers for Kristin was Friday after work.

I had another Kristin-approved errand to run on the way home Friday, so that bought me a little time to run by a locally-owned florist called Mary M's. I picked up a dozen roses there and then headed home for our first date in ages.

Katie the baby sitter was already there when I arrived. I walked in the house and noticed that Kristin was helping one of the kids with something. So, I took the opportunity to hide the flowers in the laundry room. Then, I told her to go on out to the car while I went to the bathroom. After hearing the garage door shut, I ran back into the laundry room, grabbed the flowers and then called Katie and the kids together. They were more than happy to put the flowers into one of the crystal vases we got as a wedding gift. (My mother told her every bride needs a vase big enough for a dozen roses.) I asked Katie to put the flowers in Dell's closet when the were done.

Kristin had a meeting Saturday morning. So, after she left, I brought the flowers out of Dell's dark closet to get some sun. I asked the kids to help me remember to put them back when she got home. We saw her turning into the drive way, so I ran into Dell's room with the flowers while the kids went to greet her. As I'm hiding the flowers, I hear Ava open the door and say in one of her screaming whispers, "Don't see the flowers, Mommy!"

I went ahead and brought the flowers out, and Kristin loved them. She thanked me and said something like, "This will give me another day to enjoy them." So, all's well that ends well. However, am I ever going to learn that three year olds aren't very good with secrets?

A Day Split in Thirds

I'm several days into an extended break from work. Because these sorts of breaks are few and far between for me, I'm not always the best with time management.

Some may say, "It's vacation...you don't need to manage time!!!" I can understand this sentiment, but I'm realizing that structure helps me -- my mood, morale and attentiveness. That's why I'm experimenting with splitting my free days into thirds: a third for home projects or errands, a third for family time and a third for free or miscellaneous time.

Now, I'm not sure how exact I've been with the thirds so far, but the general concept seems to be working well. Does anyone else have a useful time-management guideline?

My Man

So, Brian had his 20th high school reunion this past summer and I'd intended to write all about it. Then we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in September and I intended to write all about that. And, on Tuesday Brian turned 39 and I wanted to write about that, too.

To spare you the volumes for every celebration, I'll give a brief snippet about each.

Brian's Mom and step-dad came down to celebrate his birthday on Sunday and brought a beautiful sheet cake. Since Brian, Grandaddy and Manley were all piled in Grandaddy's room watching football and the kids were chomping at the bit for cake, we lit the candles and headed in there to sing "Happy Birthday!"  I sat on the bed next to him and leaned over to give him a kiss.  That's when the cardboard the cake was on slipped off the fancy plastic serving tray and the cake flipped upside down onto the floor.  Sorry, baby.

Oh wait.  A business trip landed him in The Russian Tea Room in New York City on his actual birthday.  So, I take it back. No pity for him.  None.

On our anniversary, we pulled out the ol' wedding video.  We don't torture ourselves annually, but we thought it would ok once every ten years. Halfway through, Sammie said, "This is soooo long."  (And, it was.)  About every ten minutes I would look over at Brian and he'd be shaking his head saying, "We were so naive."  (And, we were.) 

I've told him before I want to get married again.  I want him to ask me again, so I can say yes again.  When we said "I do" the first time, I dare say we had no idea what on earth we were saying "I do" to.  It hasn't always been moonbeams and rainbows and some times it's been downright miserable, but now that we're on the other side of that (for the moment, anyway), I can see that we have been well-matched.  I know I can count on him, no matter what. Through childbirth and grandparents. Overwhelming anxiety and the pit of depression. Even biopsies and several thousand diapers. It's easy to see that we're so much better together than apart. (Am I sounding a little sappy with him out of town?)

As for the reunion, I spent more than a few hours watching his classmates, listening to their stories, meeting their families.  And there, it happened again -- that thing that sometimes happens when I look around a crowded room. I realized I was the luckiest girl in the world to be able to leave on his arm.

That's my man.  Happy reunion/annivesary/birthday, darlin'!

Chase's First Football Game

The company I work for, Cook Medical, was kind enough to give employees two tickets to the first Indiana University football game, which was last night. And, Julie Schaefer, a Product Manager at Cook and my office neighbor, was kind of enough to give me her two tickets since she lives in Indianapolis. As a result, I was set to take Chase to his first game and ask my friend, Jeff Barnhill, and his son, Colin, to join us.

There was a problem, though. The game was at 8p.m., and I had an important conference call with some colleagues from our Asia-Pacific region at 730. Fortunately, Jeff said that's he'd drive. So, I was able to start my call while we were en route to the stadium, and was able to finish it as we walked through tailgate-party pandemonium. 

Talk about stressful... straining to listen to, understand and talk to Asians and Australians on a cell phone while trying to keep track of an excited four year old as we were walking through a sea of people.

When we got to the stadium fireworks started to not only kick off the season, but also introduce the amazing new North End Zone Facility at Memorial Stadium. You can see the new facility in the first picture below.

It was a great experience overall. The highlights for Chase included waiving one of the Barnhill's I.U. towels (until he started hitting a few folks around us), eating a hot dog and drinking a Sprite, talking to some young ladies I work with at Cook and running with a football on the mini-football field behind the South end zone. 

Wish I could say that the Hoosiers' performance was great as the rest of the experience. I guess all is well that ends well, though, as they were able to do just enough to pull out the victory against Eastern Kentucky. I think it's going to be another long year for our long-suffering program.

Looking forward to going to more games with Chaser...

Apple's Business Model

It's well known that Steve Jobs is a devoted fan of The Beatles. He's referenced them during several keynote speeches and in a 60 Minutes interview. When asked about his business model during the interview, he replied...

"My model for business is The Beatles: They were four guys that kept each other's negative tendencies in check; they balanced each other. And the total was greater than the sum of the parts. Great things in business are not done by one person, they are done by a team of people."

I've referenced this quote during presentations and in several meetings at work. I also intend on talking to the kiddos about the quote when they get older because I believe it sums up nicely several time-tested, universal principles that are as applicable at home as they are in the workplace. 

To be continued...

A Playground and Taco Bell...A Near Perfect Friday Night

Friday nights are always full of possibilities. So many possibilities, in fact, that we sometimes default to doing absolutely nothing. Not so last night. Kristin decided to take Grandaddy and Sam to Chili's for some barbecued ribs and one of her favorite desserts – molten lava cake. For the rest of us, Bryan Park seemed like a wise choice. 

I had just finished watching Pool Hall Junkies, a movie that my friend Rocky loaned me, the night before, and I wanted to drop it off first. His place is a little closer to the Templeton school playground than Bryan Park, and we hadn't played at the school before, so I decided to give it a shot. 

It's really exciting to be on the scene when one of the kids steps way out of their comfort zone. In this case, it was Chase on the monkey rings (like monkey bars, but with chains and handles instead of static bars). 

At first, he'd climb onto the platform, and I'd help him lean forward far enough to grab the first set of rings. Then, he'd hang there by himself for a second or two before asking me for help getting down. We did that a few times and then I suggested that he let go and drop 2 to 3 feet to the ground on his own. After that, he did that whole process on his own a few more times. Then, finally, with me off to the side talking to Rocky, I saw him swing off the platform while holding the first set of rings before reaching out to grab the second set of rings. He hung on the second set for a few seconds before dropping to the ground.

I'm wondering how much Sam's recent progress on the monkey rings attached to our wooden playset at home influenced him. She actually made it all the way across on her own this week...

6 rings!!

We decided to the head to the library to grab some movies next. Unfortunately, the Bloomington library closes at 6p.m. on Friday. We drove around a bit showing Rocky the sites because he's new to town. I started feeling hungry and suggested Taco Bell. The highlight of the taco feast? There were three: (1) Chase eating 3 whole tacos and half an order of cinnamon twists by himself, (2) me getting 3 free tacos because Rocky didn't order sour creme on his and (3) seeing Ava and Chase dancing around to the 50's music in between bites of taco.

What a great Friday night (and I didn't even get into whipping Rocky on my Playstation 3).

They Change in the Blink of the Eye

Kristin and the kids have been in Little Rock since last Wednesday. I was at a meeting from Wednesday to Saturday, so I had plenty to keep me occupied. Now that I'm back home, though, it sure feels lonely. So, I just looked through my iPhoto library. The first thing that came to mind as I looked at the pictures is that I can't believe how much the kids have changed in such a short period of time... 

Learning Success

I've written a few times about the WonderLab of Health, Science and Technology here in Bloomington. It's a part of a network of children's science museums nationwide. Here's the great news for a tight-wad like me...if you're a member of WonderLab, which we are, you get free access to the other science museums in the network (I don't think this includes the Indianapolis Children's museum, though...gotta check on that one). 

So, after Chase, Ava and I dropped off Sam and Kristin at the Derby Dinner Playhouse in Jeffersonville, IN this past Saturday, we went to the Louisville Science Center. I have some pictures to post (one of which is in Kristin's post from earlier today). For now, I'm including 

a part of a display in the creativity/invention/ingenuity section of the center...

How People Learn

In one year's time, it is estimated that people remember:

10% of what they hear,

15% of what they see,

20% of what they see and hear,

40% of what they discuss with others,

80% of what they directly experience and practice,

90% of what they attempt to teach another person.

Three Lessons I Learned at the Drive-In

I can't remember the last time I went to see a movie at a drive-in theatre. It might have been with my Uncle Joe and Aunt Myrna (in Lafayette, IN at the drive-in on State Road 26), but I'm not sure. Geez...I was probably 10 or so. No wonder I can't remember. I feel really old at times.

There's actually a drive-in outside Bloomington – Starlite Drive-In Movie Theatre. For one reason or another, we hadn't gone there in the four years we've lived here...until this past Friday night.

Since Kristin and Gi Gi (that's what the kids call Kristin's mom) were getting ready to leave at 4:30 a.m. Saturday morning to go to Florida for a week of R&R, Friday night was my best bet for taking Sammie out on the date I'd promised her. Kristin suggested that I take Sam and Chase. So, Ava was crying as we were packing our lawn chairs, drinks, candy and popcorn. Of course, I caved in and said she could come ... against my better judgement. 

We parked next to the Newlands for Ben Stiller's Night at the Museum 2. I think the kids had a great time. I had a so-so time. The movie was weak, and Ava was driving me crazy -- before (walking out of my sight), during (talking loudly) and after (whining) the movie. This line from an email Kristin sent me from Florida the next day made me feel a little better: "Cindy said Ava was good and that it probably just seemed loud to you because you're the dad. Said she was so cute."

Here are the three lessons I learned:

1. Six, four and two is not a good age mix for one parent at a drive-in theatre. 

2. I need to keep working on the way I respond to the kiddos during stressful situations. I also need to remember that Sam, Chase and Ava are six, four and two, respectively. It's funny how easily I forget their ages, and talk to them like they are adults.

3. Drive-ins can be a lot of fun. One family brought Chinese food, another brought an inflatable mattress...it felt a little like a tailgate party. I'd love to go at least a few more times this summer.

Little Things Can Mean A Lot

When our flight landed Saturday, the flight attendant made her announcement welcoming us to Atlanta and thanking us for choosing Delta airlines, she added something to the effect of, "And we are honored to have a serviceman on board with us today, please take a moment and show your appreciation for his service to our country."

The relatively quiet crowd came to life as we applauded the young man. I couldn't even see the back of the guy's head, but it made me happy to be able to do such a little thing.  Dare I admit that I got all teary?  I think I'm becoming a sap in my old age.

We don't see a lot of men and women in uniform in Bloomington, although there is a National Guard post here. Last year, I noticed some military guys for a few days in a row downtown.  I stopped in a little place for lunch one day and a group of them were eating together. There were too many of them to buy all their lunches, but I did treat them to a table full of iced teas and was able to say thanks in person on my way out.  I told them my life was peaceful and protected and I felt safe because of the sacrifices that they and their families make.  It was easier for me to buy the drinks from a distance than to speak to them in person.  I was really nervous.

I told Brian about it when I got home asking him if he thought that was dumb or if he would've appreciated it when he was called up.  He said it was a good thing to do.  I'm not saying this to toot my own horn, but rather to say that I believe little acts of appreciation and kindness can mean a lot.  Maybe you think there's nothing you can do that would matter, but you'd be wrong. Some people put flags on graves.  Some people put their hand over their hearts when the National Anthem is sung.  (Some people actually know all the words and sing out loud on the high notes!) I've even seen short notes of thanks passed on Facebook in the last couple of days.

On Memorial Day, we are given a day off to honor and remember those who have given their lives for our freedoms.  People like sweet Andy.  I hope Brian and I will leave a legacy to our children about honoring, even in the smallest ways, those who serve right now -- today -- the ones who don't get off their job on Memorial Day because they are protecting my family in this moment in time. Maybe you have some good ideas about how to do that.  I'd love for you to share.

In the meantime, for whoever is reading this and has served our country, I invite you to come over for a glass of tea on us!

When In Rome, Do As You Normally Do

I wrote several months ago about the minor differences in Brian's eating habits from mine.

It's been more than a little funny to me here.  Brian had pizza the first night we were here and has ordered two hamburgers at least. One of the natives took us to a tapas restaurant called Txapela one night. 

Our paper placemat had pictures of each of the 50 appetizer-sized choices.  But a separate menu in six languages explained each choice.

Here's what Brian ordered:

Xistorra de Navarra

Xoric confitat a la sidra

Brie fos

Bunoi de bacalla amb allioli suau

Hamburguesa amb formatge i mostassa

Doesn't that sound exotic?  When it came it was the equivalent of  two different kids of hot dogs, grilled cheese, fried fish and a hamburger.

I love it!

Inner Voice – Friend or Foe?

In my mind, the most important purpose of this blog is to collect stories, inspiration, memorable moments and wisdom for Sam, Chase and Ava. Some posts will be more significant than others. To me, in terms of wisdom that I can impart to the kiddos, this is my most important post yet.

A friend of mine told me about a habit he developed years ago as a high school golfer. He called it being "your own biggest fan." I don't remember his wording exactly, but essentially his method was to tell himself that he was going to succeed, what happened moments ago was a thing of the past, what others think doesn't matter, with more and more practice he could get better and better, etc. He always tried to accentuate the positive, so his inner voice was/is his friend, not a foe.

It's clear to me now that my inner voice – for reasons I can write about in other posts – is a skillful foe, not a friend. For example, I've realized that I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about my mistakes and very little time thinking about my successes. It's as if I feel more comfortable being a critic than a fan.

The happy ending to this post is I've come to see it's not too late for me to change my mindset. And, because of my own personal struggles and the progress I'm finally making, I hope I'm in a better position to teach the kids the value of a positive inner voice. 

A-Sledding We Will Go

A few Saturdays ago, while there was still snow on the ground, Chase and I decided it was time to get out of the house for a little father-and-son time. We did a few different things while we were out, including a haircut for Chase, dropping off the recycling and the highlight of the trip – sledding behind Sherwood Oaks Christian Church. (I won't get into the one real downer of the trip ... Chase throwing a fit at Blockbuster and crying all the way home. I'm thinking it was some post-sledding fatigue.)

Sledding Saturday was such a blast. So much so that we loaded up the sled before leaving for church Sunday morning so the whole family could get in on action right after the 11 a.m. service. Here are some pictures from both days. We didn't send Ava to church in ski pants. If you look closely, you might be able to see her patent leather shoes!

When in Rome

I traveled to Rome, Italy recently for work. The European sales force of Cook Medical’s Aortic Intervention division was having its annual sales meeting there, and I was scheduled to give two presentations to a group of 90 or so colleagues. In all, it was a five-day trip: two travel days, one day for set up, one day for the event and a day of free time…a real whirlwind trip to and from a legendary city. Here’s a selection of pictures from the trip (top to bottom): Daniel Young, Pam and Dave Weaver, me and Phil Nowell at real Italian restaurant; the starting point (Piazza del Popolo) of the Angels & Demons tour I went on with Dave, Pam and Brittany Saturday morning; St. Peter’s Basilica; meeting room at the Sheraton Roma Hotel and Conference Center; the Coliseum; ruins within the city; me at Trevi Fountain and the Spanish Stairs.

I Give Up

I can't think of anything good to write, so I'm going with the 25 Random Things that's sweeping the Internet. (I'll be more surprised than anyone if I actually come up with 25.)

1. I don't like to talk on the phone much anymore, though I could talk for hours at a time in college to my dorm mates down the hall.
   
2. I was born on leap day, so I'm really only whatever 36 divided by 4 is.
   
3. I'm not good at math.
   
4. I plan on teaching all my children calculus.
   
5. My first kiss was with a neighborhood boy named Brian.  How about that?
6. I didn't kiss MY Brian until after we were engaged. How about THAT?
7. I love any song that tells a great story -- which is why I lean toward country and broadway.
8. I'd choose a third helping of meat and potatoes over dessert any day of the week.
9. Unless dessert is homemade chocolate meringue pie.  
10. I drank coffee all through each of my pregnancies and subsequent nursings.  
11. My children have VERY short attention spans.  (Not really.)
12. I wish I had a pool in the backyard with a built-in life guard.
13. If it's not Coca-Cola Classic, then it's just not worth the carbonation at all.
14. I have VERY weird neighbors.  (You know who you are.)
15. I was the press secretary for the former Mayor of Bloomington. 
16. All my best friends are exactly like my husband in their quirks and personalities.  It's very weird.
17. I used to love deer.  
18. I'd never been to the hospital or doctor with anything more sever than an ear infection, until I went into labor with Sam.  (There's really no good preparation, is there?)
19. I thought Sam's labor was hard until I had Chase.
20. I was scared to death the entire 9 months carrying Ava.
21. I wouldn't trade them for anything on the planet.  (Well, most days, anyway.)  
22. I love having company.
23. I love to cook for people who love my cooking. 
24. My children are primarily vegetarians.
25. I can eat you under the table in BBQ ribs and hot wings. 
    

I'm supposed to "tag" 25 people to make their own list, but I don't know 25 people, so if you read this consider yourself tagged!

Apple, The Beatles and Our Beloved Honey Pie

We own a few Apple computers, an iPod Shuffle and a bunch of their software. iTunes, for those on the back end of the technology adoption curve, is the software they developed for organizing and playing digital music. It’s the piece of Apple software that both Kristin and I use the most.

iTunes has a function called sharing. If you’re on a computer network with other iTunes users, you can play their music if they give you access. As you might expect, I love the music that I have in my iTunes library. But, from time to time, I get sick of my music, and I’m ready to browse through someone else’s.

Most of the shared music I listen to comes from my friend Jon Hancuff’s library. And, most of the time I spend listening to his music is spent listening to one of his Beatles albums…Meet the Beatles, A Hard Day’s Night, Help, Magical Mystery Tour or The Beatles (A.K.A., The White Album).

Between John’s albums and my albums (Abbey Road, Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band, Beatles 1, John Lennon’s Imagine, The Best of George Harrison and The Concert for George), I’ve listened to a lot of Beatles music of late. I’ve also spent a fair amount of time reading about them and watching a few different documentaries. I’m sure some of what I’ve learned will surface in later posts.

Kristin picked up on my growing interest. So, when Grandaddy asked what I wanted for Christmas, she knew just the right gift…The White Album – a double album filled with a legendarily eclectic mix of songs from arguably the greatest songwriting team of our time.

I opened what amounts to a near perfect gift for me on Christmas morning, and I streamed it from Kristin’s computer to our wireless speakers in the kitchen so we could listen to the album as we opened presents and, later, ate a breakfast fit for a king. I might add that it was a nice break from the Christmas music we had been listening to for the entire month of December.

It’s at this point that our youngest daughter, Ava, enters the picture. Ava is quintessentially two in almost every way. She’s a handful pretty much every minute she’s awake. That’s why a line from a song on the album called “Honey Pie” (not to be confused with “Wild Honey Pie,” which is also on the album) hit close to home: “Honey Pie … you are making me crazy.” We laughed for a minute and decided that Honey Pie would become the next in a long line of expressive nicknames we have for our wee little Ava.

By the way, I think the song is really about a young man who longs for his love to come back home. If you know Ava, though, and want the full effect of this blog entry, watch this video and think of our Honey Pie as Paul McCartney sings the line above. If you’re interested, here’s some more info on the song, too.

Chase is Growing Up Fast, but He’s Still Only Three

As I noted in my last entry, Chase scaled new heights at Wonder Lab recently. He made it to the top of the Grapevine Climber all by himself. He’s growing up so fast. I can hardly believe it. Every now and then, though, I’m reminded that my boy is still only three. Here’s a rather memorable example…

We traveled to Elizabethtown, Kentucky for Thanksgiving this year. Kristin is from Elizabethtown, and she still has family there. A post-meal gathering around the fireplace is a tradition at her Mom’s house.

This year, because I’ve started the process of making the high-def TV plunge, I looked through the Black Friday flyers in search of an offer I couldn’t possibly refuse as we sat around the fire. I found a few intriguing possibilities and, so, planned to set out early in the morning in search of a deal. It was Chase’s turn for some one-on-one time with me, so he went along.

We went to Sears first, followed by Best Buy and, finally, HH Gregg. While at HH Gregg, we looked at what seemed like 1,000 plasma, LCD and DLP high-def televisions; talked to a sales rep and grabbed some info to review. On the way to the exit, I remembered that I needed some rechargeable batteries for our digital camera.

I asked the manager where I could find the batteries, and he pointed me in the right direction. As I was reviewing my options, I glanced back to make sure Chase was still there. He was there all right. To my surprise (that’s at least somewhat understated), there he was, in the middle of the store, with his pants – including his underwear – around his ankles.

Without thinking, I dropped the batteries, picked him up and pulled up his drawers in one motion and made a beeline to the door. As we jogged to the van, without looking back I might add, I asked him, “Why did you pull down your pants?!?!” To which, he replied in no uncertain terms, “My underwear didn’t feel good.”